yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
