im about as happy as oj after his trial
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
