The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Everything about him screamed your future.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
