i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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