I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
