I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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