There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
