Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
