Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
