apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
