she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
