I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
