She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
