yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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