I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
