so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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