Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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