I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
