I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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