I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
