five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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