i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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