is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
