ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
