Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
