talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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