i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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