I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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