New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize