may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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