I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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