i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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