U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
