Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
