You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
