would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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