My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
