Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
