Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
