put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
