Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
