You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
