Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
how does that bad decision feel?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
