she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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