I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
