he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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