If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize