break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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