I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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