Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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