I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
