He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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