you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
