I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
