I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
