Got a toothbrush?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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