I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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