Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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