she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
