They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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