I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Randomize