coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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