real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Randomize
