What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
