I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
