Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize