she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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