I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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