shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
