It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I love you. Go after that dick
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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