I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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