i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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