I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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