walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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