p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
and i looked up. we had an audience...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
